IMD 2025: Why it is critical to do more to support men and boys
Equality, and how we reach true gender equality, is a thorny issue. With any need for change, especially on such a molecular level with how our modern society runs and functions, there’s always going to be a lot of voices, a lot of strategies and, therefore, a lot of contradictions and opposition. And change suffers most in chaotic, divisive environments.
Today is International Men’s Day. In itself, the awareness day has drawn negative attention over the years – commentary around, ‘Why do we need a day for men when every day is for men?’ Fears that it will drown out the rightful celebrations of International Women’s Day in March.
But over the last decade that I’ve worked in the diversity, equity and inclusion space, I’ve seen firsthand that the answer isn’t to silence men. To alienate the majority in a programme of change is a ticket to failure.
We need equality for women. We do. We need equality for all genders and races and bodies and backgrounds. And that includes white men and boys. By considering the challenges they face, by bringing them on this journey and showing them how equality for all benefits them too, can we make change truly happen.
But how do I know this? Where do we start and how do we act? How do we get men on-side for equality?
It starts with our motivations.
Initial motivations
In 2014, I was asked, alongside two other senior male leaders, to set up a male allies group for a Women in Technology programme at JPMorganChase. At that time, if you’d asked me why, I would have said that I was doing it on behalf of women. Leaders and managers (especially, but not only, men) were creating barriers for women in their technology careers. This was mostly inadvertent or accidental – but it didn’t change the fact that women were not seeking careers in the sector and even if they did, they did not stay there as long as their male counterparts.
This was not only fundamentally not right, it made no sense. We needed more women in IT – and still do, more critically than ever – and if we made it unnecessarily difficult or unpleasant, that was a stunning waste of both resources and opportunity.
But it was not easy work. Like most people who work towards building more diverse, equitable and inclusive workplaces, I was doing it from the “side of my desk”. Not only did I have a spectacularly busy day job as a managing director for one of the world’s biggest financial services companies, the rewards for focusing on this issue from a corporate perspectivewere basically non-existent.
At first, it was difficult to prioritise this against a myriad of other things on my to-do list, but as I became more intentional in my own approach for building diversity and inclusion into the DNA of the teams I led, I began to realise something quite fundamental.
This was making me a better leader; in fact, it was making me a better colleague, a better friend, a better partner, a better father, a better human being.
The teams I led also began to see the benefits of being more diverse and inclusive. So, my motivations for doing this work began to evolve. In some ways, they became a little bit more selfish, but also very strongly connected to enabling my teams to be successful – clear reasons for making it a personal priority.
The allies programme at JPMorgan was expanded beyond technology and across the whole business a few years later and is still going strong today, over 10 years later. In fact, it strikes me it has probably lasted longer than any of the software I wrote in the 24 years that I was there. And I suspect that the reasons that the programme is still relevant are simple:
- Despite, by some measures, seeing a lot of progress in more gender equal workplaces, the speed of those changes is slowing;
- The role of men, particularly those in senior positions, is key to being successful in building diverse organisations with an inclusive culture;
- There is a strong sense, frequently echoed in the media, that men are struggling with their own issues and increasingly turning away from supporting gender equality and similar initiatives.
This last point is particularly critical.
Evolving thinking
When we set up Men for Inclusion in early 2021, we saw the opportunity to enable organisations to leverage inclusive work practices to build better performance. It was clear to us that it would help companies to attract and retain a more diverse workforce.
We knew this would have a positive impact for women and others who had traditionally been under-represented in certain role types, in particular sectors or in leadership positions. But we also knew, from our own experience, that this would benefit those from majority groups too.
More inclusive workplaces, where everyone of any gender, any race, any background, were welcomed, supported and developed were great places to work. They benefited everyone. So know, when I am asked about motivation for continuing my fight to create more equitable environments, I genuinely believe it is on behalf of everyone, as much for the men in my life as it is for the women.
And right now, it almost feels like men need it just as much.
The sense that there is a crisis in masculinity is nothing new, but in the last couple of years, that narrative seems to be the prevailing view. A number of stories suggest men are lost, that they are no longer of value to society, that the continued rise of feminism means that they no longer have a purpose. The view that success for men, can only be measured by how much money they earn or by some level of physical prowess.
This is particularly marked for younger men: in a tough economic climate, where they see their female peers outperforming them in education, where they see additional programmes aimed at getting more women into traditional male-dominated fields (construction, energy, engineering, technology), it is perhaps not surprising that they are feeling that they are not getting a level of support they need.
Despite what some might say, when it comes to gender equality, we are still in the midst of significant change in society. In the aftermath of the Second World War, the 1950s and 1960s saw the emergence of the “rules” of modern day societal, community and labour practices. Men were expected to be the breadwinners, to be the strong, silent types, to be resilient, to be the ones to earn money for the family unit, to provide. Women, on the other hand, were expected to be caring, nurturing, to be the home-builders and to put their own career desires on the back-burner and focus on their families.
Despite the fact that these “boxes” were often wildly inappropriate for many, those who deliberately diverged from them were treated with suspicion.
A bit of (recent-ish history)
In the UK, in 1960, according to the government’s statistics, only 42% of women were in officially in employment and only 4% of the countries’ members of parliament were women. In contrast, only 10% of nurses were male and the number of stay-at-home fathers was “statistically negligible”.
Fast forward to 2025 and the “rules” are not so clear – at least not for women. Although we may have got past the “women can have it all” moment, there are a lot fewer overt barriers to women prioritising their careers. 72% of women are now in employment and the number of female MPs is now up to 40%. Not only can women be seen as caring and nurturing, they can also be seen as strong, resilient and career-minded.
However, for men, the expectations have changed a lot more slowly.
Although, it has become a little more acceptable for men to be seen as caring and nurturing, the male gender stereotypes seem much harder to shift. The number of male nurses for example is now up to just 11% and we do at least now have some data to show that 1 in 9 stay-at-home parents are fathers.
A focus on change
This shift from the very gender-specific roles of yesteryear is a significant one. It is one of the largest change programmes we have ever attempted; within business and outside of it. And the consequences of how we have gone about that change programme are becoming clearer and clearer. Because I would argue that most of our efforts to support people through that change programme have been focused on women.
I am not saying that that was the wrong choice – all of the programmes have been run (and continue to be run) to get more women into politics, local government, the legal professions, the emergency services, financial services, IT, engineering, energy, constructions, utilities are absolutely critical. We need to keep doing them. However, in contrast, there have been a lot fewer programmes aimed at getting men to become the primary care-giver at home, to become nurses, primary school teachers, to become HR professionals. We need these programmes too.
If our argument is that gender balance builds better companies, better communities, better social organisations, a better society, then it has to cut both ways. If gender balance, particularly in leadership, alongside an inclusive culture enables organisations to be financially stronger, more resilient, more innovative, more engaging, more supportive of their employees is our argument, then why aren’t there the same levels of programmes to address the places where women are the majority group (accepting that there is often an imbalance in leadership benefiting men in those women-dominated sectors).
To give a simple example, last year I went to a women in business exhibition at the London Excel center. I counted at least 8 separate entities who had been set up to encourage more women and girls to join the IT sector. This is amazing and I totally applaud it. If I consult our AI overlords, they estimate there are dozens of organisations doing work like this. In comparison, the number encouraging more men into nursing is likely less than 10.
Similar research will show that there are likely to be more than 100 countries globally that have a dedicated ministerial body or a national mechanism (ministry, agency, department or ministerial post) responsible for women/gender equality. Hardly any have anything similar for men (although a couple of Scandinavian countries do you have research or policy units).
Now this is not a big surprise – the lived experiences of women in most countries still lag their male counterparts when it comes to a number of critical life important factors. The levels of violence and sexual abuse of women remains shockingly high in many countries.
I will say again, all of the work that is being undertaken to improve the lives of women and girls must continue and in many places, should be accelerated or have increased levels of investment.
But unless we also invest more into supporting the lives of men and boys, I believe that creating an completely equitable society for women and girls will continue to remain beyond our grasp.
Taking action
So what does that support look like?
I think it starts with listening to their concerns more and looking at how we can invest in better programmes to support them.
The work of Richard Reeves at Of Boys and Men has really dug into the data behind where men are struggling, particularly when it comes to education and certain parts of health care, notably mental health. He and his team continue to be a vital research capability focused on men’s problems, as well as provide a number of well-articulated suggestions on what could be done.
His message that we can “do two things at once; we can improve the lives of women and girls and at the same time, improve the lives of men and boys” is one that resonates with me.
In particular, Of Boys and Men has highlighted how some of the male backlash to gender equality (or at least, arguably, gender progressive programmes) is not a simple rejection of feminist ideals, but more an articulation of “we, as men, have problems too and no-one seems to want to deal with them”. Their analysis into the reasons why so many men voted Republican in last year’s US elections, despite the fact that the Democrats having implemented key policies that could be seen as positive for men (and many voters) is fascinating.
This idea that men are not rejecting feminism was also discovered in some recent research by YouGov in the UK. Their research showed a definite rejection, from both men and women, of the word feminism, but not the ideal behind it, one of a world where both men and women should have equal rights and status in society.
Only 33% of people identified as a feminist, whereas 77% believed in equal rights and that everyone should be treated equally (we need to have a word with the other 23%!). This tells me that men are open to discussions on building a more gender equal and equitable world, but we need to ensure those conversations are balanced and take account of what they need as well as their female counterparts.
We need more work to find win-win solutions where we all benefit.
So how we engage with men is critical. Yes, there are men who are misogynists; men who agree with the words of Andrew Tate and similar extreme influencers; men who treat women (and probably other men, frankly) appallingly.
But that is not most men. Most men are just trying to be half-decent human beings and want to do the right thing.
They will still get it wrong (when it comes to how they might treat others – we all do), but they are willing to learn, willing to change. I am not a buyer (not a complete one anyway) of the adage “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”. I’ve seen plenty of elderly canine-like change.
However, I do think we need to start with a little bit empathy with a smattering of kindness. Talking to them about the patriarchy, toxic masculinity, the “manosphere” is not it. Talking about “male, pale & stale” and “the dinosaurs” is not it either. I think we need to see how we can perhaps move some of these phrases into the terms of yesteryear.
When they make a mistake (assuming there was good intention), let’s not always tell them they are wrong, that they’re insensitive or that they have no emotional intelligence. Let’s show curiosity, let’s ask them why, let’s find about their lived experience that has led to them making that mistake.
Only by engaging with a spirit of openness, leading with our ears, can we begin to properly understand how we can fully enlist their help. Because we need it if we want to continue to accelerate change.
Final thoughts
Now I realise there might be some people who are reading this thinking “why do we have to make this all about men?” When it comes to the workplace, they still tend to have a better lived experience by the sheer good fortune of the gender. That they are still more likely to find their way into senior leadership. And the fact there is still far more we have to do on behalf of women.
I get that. As I read back this article, I find myself doing a little of that as well.
But it is International Men’s Day and I feel we have to try some different strategies. What we have done for the last decade in the interests of diversity, equity and inclusion is no longer working (or at least not enabling change at the rate we would like to see it).
I can’t say I have all the answers, but I do think we need to try a few different approaches and listening more to men, as well as women, is one of them. At Men for Inclusion our focus is in the title – Inclusion – how we ensure everyone has access to resources and opportunities. This is about balance and finding great solutions together.
We have a lot of problems to solve – we need as many as possible to be part of the solution.