The Lived Experience Gap: Working Mother vs. Boomer-Generation Man

Recently, Stacey Will and I had the opportunity to deliver a full-day workshop in Exeter. While we were in the same room, our experiences getting there — and back — couldn’t have been more different. The session was scheduled for all day Thursday. Neither of us had been to Exeter before, and both of us had relatively long journeys.

I decided to leave home on Wednesday morning, arriving mid-afternoon with plenty of time to explore. I took a walk along the quay and canal path, enjoyed a pint at the Topsham Brewery and an excellent dinner at a local restaurant. The next morning, I was up at 7:00, fresh and ready for our six-hour session.

I’d planned to stay Thursday night too — more time to enjoy the city. After work, I visited the stunning cathedral and wandered around town before another relaxing evening.

On Friday, I had a slow start, did a bit of work, and strolled to the train station. The only stress? My return train was 10minutes late.

Now let’s look at Stacey’s lived experience. A woman who wants – and deserves – both a career and motherhood.

She left home on Wednesday afternoon after a full day’s work. A kiss and hug goodbye for little Harper, who didn’t want mummy to leave, then straight to the airport – only to find the flight was delayed by an hour. The delay meant the train was missed, leading to a scramble at the airport to work out a new way of getting there. She eventually arrived in Exeter – just before midnight – an hour later than planned.

Up at 6:30 the next morning – six and a half hours’ sleep – to get ready: hair, makeup, professional attire. And then straight into co-delivering a six-hour workshop with me.

At 15:15, the session ended. A taxi was waiting to take her straight to the station for the long journey home. After another delayed flight she arrived home at midnight and was woken at 7:00 by an excited, expectant Harper, ready for a day packed with activities.

Same job. Same delivery. Wildly different journeys.

Full respect and appreciation to Stacey – and to working mothers everywhere.
Let’s recognise the lived experience gap. Let’s talk about it. And most importantly, let’s design work and inclusion strategies that reflect it.